HELP!

Does anybody have any tips on how to speed up labour?
My due date is on the 5th May and I really REALLY do not want to go over because I have simply had enough of pregnancy!
So far I have been told to try eating pineapple and trying some caster oil (which I dont like the sound of).

So come on guys, give a desperate girl a helping hand :D

New to this.

After a good month of my partner going on and on about me making a blog I finally caved. However I have found it very difficult to think of anything remotely interesting to write about, so after seeing the other half browsing through other people blogs I came to realise that you can write any old crap on these things and talking about any old crap is what I do best :)

Most of today has been spent sorting out my unborn child's clothes for when he FINALLY arrives, I have 9 weeks left and they couldn't go by any faster! I am even contemplating packing my hospital bag just to fill up wasted time doing nothing else! The most obvious, main reason I want him here now is because I cannot wait to meet my first child but the second most crucial reason is because I'm fed up of being in pain when he decides to lay underneath my ribs, I can safely say it is the most uncomfortable feeling ever!

Today has also been spent pondering over when is the best time to go back to my original hair colour using.. http://www.boots.com/en/Colour-B4-Hair-Colour-Remover-by-Scott-Cornwall-hair-expert-_1000978/. I'm not sure on whether to just wait until the baby is born or whether it is safe to use now? So helpful answers would be appreciated. Me and my partner spent a short while searching through the Internet for answers but just couldn't find anything : /

 Thanks